Friday, February 27, 2009

Proof of Life

You know those days when the day-to-day tasks seem like just too much? Yesterday that pile of laundry didn't bother me. Today when I look around I don't just see the laundry. I see the dust, the mess, the dishes in the sink, the new to-do list, oh....and that same pile of laundry. Yesterday I said "It'll get done. I'm doing the best I can do!" Today I want to scream "I can't do it!"
Funny how God reminds us of what's really important.
I woke up this morning after what seemed like a loooong night. Atalie was up every 2.5 hours to eat (growth spurt) and I'm beat. Charis has a cold. The house looks rough. Ok...and I look rough too. :)
So I whisper a quick prayer. "Help me Lord. Help me be a good mom when I don't feel like it. Help me be a good wife when I don't feel like it. And help me do more than just make it through the day." And once again, song lyrics pop into my head.

This house is a good mess,
it's the proof of life.
No way would I trade jobs
but it doesn't pay overtime.
I'll get to the laundry...
I don't know when.
I'm saying a prayer tonight because tomorrow it starts again.
Could it be that everything is sacred?
And all this time
Everything I dreamed of has been right before my eyes.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Atalie




There I was, right around midnight, wondering if that was my water that just broke or did I have an accident? (TMI, right?) I was sure I wasn't in labor. I was 3 weeks early. Doesn't she know this isn't in my plan???
Alas, at 4 am I succumbed to the realization that I was, indeed, in labor. Atalie was here, 3 hours later. At one month she still looks tiny to me. But when I went to compare her weight and Charis's weight at one month, Atalie is the bigger one by an entire pound! She's 11 pounds 4 oz at one month. Short and tubby.

It's amazing how different they are even at this early age. Charis always had a worried furrow in her brow, cried about 5 minutes before every nap before falling asleep, and mastered skills months later than most but suddenly and without practice. Atalie is a completely different story. She's already trying to put pressure on her feet to stand while you hold her. Charis was MONTHS old before she even cared about doing that! Atalie looks relaxed most of the time, has cried fewer times than I can count on my fingers, is sleeeeeepy, and eats fast. So fast I was sure she wasn't getting enough nutrients. I guess gaining 9 oz in 4 days proved me wrong. Charis ate sloooow, but woke up during the day every 3 hours to eat. She has a tiny amount of very strawberry blonde hair. Charis had a black mohawk. :) Her eyes are blue. It took us forever to figure out Charis's eye color. As a lot of babies do, Charis had a brief fussy time in the evenings. Atalie just kind of chills out wherever she is. But boy can she grunt. Loud enough to turn OFF the monitor. I've gone in there so many times at night thinking she's up and ready to eat. Nope...just her grunting.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Charis
















Brian and I prayed for a long time for a baby. October 1st 2006 I found out that I was expecting. In June of 2007 our little miracle arrived.
Charis is a sweet girl. In the opinion of many, "easy." And in a lot of respects, I guess that's true. She's 20 months old now, talking more and more, in love with Mickey Mouse (Mick Mick), Minnie (NeeNee), Goofy (Doofy), Daisy (Daishy), Donald (Donee), and Pluto (aka Pooey). Every time she says their names I feel torn between the teacher in me ("I must correct her!") and the mom in me ("That is SO cute. I hope she always calls Pluto 'Pooey.')
She loves to cook and will taste ANY ingredient we put in a bowl. Raw flour? Yes. Uncooked noodles? Yes. Baking powder, cocoa, salt, pepper, chili powder? Yes! The tasting is usually met by a horrible face, a nod of the head, and the comment, "mmmmm." Then she reaches for more.

What's In The Name?

1Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. 2Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.



This is where the title of my blog came from. This scripture has changed my life over and over again more than any other. I remember in college hearing a message on worship. How I could worship daily--How can my life be worship? A mentor in college (Thanks, Karen!) pointed me to this verse. Since that day, it continues to take on new life.

Keeping in constant contact and communication helps me worship. But I'll be quick to admit that I get so sidetracked...middle of the night feedings, groceries, bills, cooking, cleaning, being a decent mom. My contact some days is like a late call to a best friend, filled with lame excuses. "Sorry I didn't have a chance to call sooner. I got so tied up..." Well, I guess I got tied up in the 'patterns of this world.'

So again, today, I ask God to transform me...literally a metamorphosis into something new. Have you read The Metamorphosis? You know, the one where the guy wakes up and has been transformed into a cockroach. Everything he knows is about what a cockroach would do, eat, and how it would live. Eventually the mind goes there, too. I think of that every time I read this verse. God literally wants me to eat/sleep/breathe Him. But I have to be transformed. I wish it was as easy as waking up that way.

And again, today, I ask God to renew my mind. Renew, renovate, change. When you renovate a house, you tear down what's old and broken and replace it with something better. Something clean, functional, and beautiful. It takes time, it takes getting dirty, and it takes patience. And I've noticed that often times when we try to renovate things ourselves, we get into a bigger mess. Then we have to call in the experts. In this case, The Expert.

So now you know why this blog is called Renovations of the Heart. I'm hoping that's exactly the direction I'm headed in (minus the cockroach thing). God is changing me daily (when I let Him in long enough) and I pray that I'm becoming a better wife, mother, daughter, and friend because of it. But most of all, I just hope that I'm becoming more like Him.